Keeping My Distance
by lovelife21
Summary: What was going through Leah’s head when Jacob tore away from Sams pack and Seth fallowed? What happened when Seth left? Didnt Leah try to stop him from running straight to the mouth of the packs enemies? Leahs POV, oneshot


**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight **

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Jacob's thoughts where filled with nothing but single minded determination as he stood up to Sam.

They were tow to tow. Sam with his shoulders hunched over a little as the full force of the Alpha in Jacob's thoughts hit him, Jacob stood stall while he fiercely stared down Sam. We all flinched a little at the sound of the authority echoing threw our heads. It made it clear that Jacob had always been capable of taking over the entire pack.

It angered me that an instinctive part of me wanted to back Jacob up; help him to assert his dominance over Sam. Not because I thought that would be best, but because with Jacob, who was obviously the more dominate of the two, I would have a better chance of being on the winning team. There was a collective shudder that ran threw the pack as we all register this feeling. Sam and Jacob didn't notice; they where caught up in an argument that would determine the fate of more than just the pack.

I can't help but keep my mind on Seth. I don't want him to go into this fight. I don't want to lose him. My mom may be tough but I can see the change in her after dad died. She doesn't hum any more wile she bakes cookies. Her eyes water up when she sees dad's old fishing rod shoved in the back of the hallway closet. Her eyes linger on his empty seat at the dinner table. It's like she's wishing to just see him sitting there teasing me like always, and kicking Seth's chair when he puts his elbows on the table one last time.

I don't know what mom would do if she lost Seth to… I don't know what _I_ would do if I lost Seth. It hurt just to think of it. I may snap at him but really he is the closest person to me. I find a little bit of happiness burst in me when I see his smile.

Maybe I should back Jake up. Maybe I could save Seth if Sam wasn't in charge to give him the order that was driving him to his knees right now…

Wait… that thought shouldn't even cross my mind! I hate Jacob Black and the girl he is defending. I hate the family that he is trying to protect right now. I want to go tear apart every one of those bloodsuckers limb from limb for bringing so much trouble upon us all! Everything that Jacob stands for is against me.

I growled and my ears laid flat against my head. Who the hell did he think he was? Those leaches needed to be burned. The world needed to be wiped clean of the Cullens. He couldn't just tare the pack apart for his own selfish desires.

A small voice in the back of my head whispered, "Or maybe what he's doing is the right thing." This voice occasionally decided to turn up. It was the small part of me that was left over from a happier time. The time prior to this whole jacked up werewolf thing.

"Shut up!" I growled at the reasonable Leah. Then I directed my attention to Jacob and Sam.

_I_ will_ stand between you and the Cullens. I won't just watch while the pack kills innocent people_, Jacob thought.

The power of the Alpha coursed threw each word. Did he seriously just call those leaches people? I couldn't understand it but-although he really didn't want to admit it-he did believe the Cullens could be considered people. What a jack ass…

_The pack is better than that. Lead them in the right direction Sam, _He finished. Then, he turned his back on the pack.

Just like that he turned his back and his mind faded away until we couldn't hear his thoughts anymore.

There was a short pause, and then howls filled the air. It tore at my ears and heart. It took me a second to realize that I was howling too. We where all letting out our emotions in one big burst because it was too much to handle so many peoples emotions all at once. We where all feeling a little bit of the same things though: anger, hurt, betrayal, sadness, confusion.

I could hear some of the thoughts but it was so jumbled I couldn't make out whose they where.

_Coward! What about what you said this morning?_

_What the hell just happened?!_

_When I get my teeth in you…_

_No man, come on, don't do this…_

_Jake, wait… I need to come with you… wait…_

My howling stopped immediately. I knew who that last thought belonged too. It was Seth.

I whipped around so I could see him and there was so much distress in my head that the other howls cut off one by one. Seth's knees where locked as he tried to stay on his feet and his head was bowed so his nose was almost in the dirt.

Everyone watched as his head slowly lifted and his shoulders relaxed little by little. His thoughts grew fainter as his muscles relaxed until we couldn't hear him at all and he was standing straight. He looked at everyone lingering on me a little. Then he looked Sam straight in the eye. It was totally quiet.

Then Seth took off. He headed straight into the forest forwards the Cullen house like Jacob.

_Seth! Get back here! Seth!_ Sam called. It was to late though. Jacob had separated from the pack, becoming his own Alpha. Now, Seth had joined Jacobs pack, creating a pack totally separate from ours.

I was frozen watching Seth get further and further away. I had just seriously considered turning on my own Alpha to save Seth from the bloodsuckers and now he was running straight for them. So, the moment I saw his tan fur disappear completely into the woods my stance broke and I stumbled toward the direction he went. Then I panicked…

_SETH!_ I screamed mentally. _No! Come back Seth! _

I had to chase after him. I'm the fastest. I could hunt him down and _force_ him to come back. I wasn't about to just up and leave me or the pack. He can't just abandon me. I tensed to run after him but the there where three wolves standing I front of me.

I didn't care. I didn't even take time to see who they were; I just dove into the middle of them and tried to fight my way through. I was stupid for even trying though, because in no time they knocked me back with enough force that I had to dig my nails into the dirt as I slid back so I wouldn't end up flat on my ass.

_Leah_, _stop it_! Sam comanded, and I heard the alpha voice again. His wasn't as strong as Jacob's but he was still my Alpha and I had to obey. Didn't mean I had to like it though...

I snarled, showing my teeth and his ears pulled back. _He's my brother!_ I yelled urgently. _I_ _have to go get him Sam! Don't stop me. He's putting himself in danger! _

I turned around to see it was Paul, Jared, and Colin that had stopped me before and I ran to the side of them. Paul was the closest to me and when he jumped in my path I leaped to the right. I used a tree to catapult myself over him and landed behind him. I started running again and I almost laughed with triumph but then there was a giant black wall in front of me.

Sam used his shoulder and rammed it into my face. I keeled over backwards and I could taste blood in my mouth.

As soon as my head stopped stinging I leaped up ready to try again when Sam's voice echoed threw my head again hitting my conscious like a battering ram.

Leah, he ordered, _you will not fallow Seth or Jacob_. _You will not get near them._

My head bowed with the weight of his command_. _I could see nothing but dirt and paw prints. My fear for my only brother, the only person who could possibly understand me even just a little and make my mother laugh, really crashed down on me.

_Then, what's going to happen to Seth?_ I whimpered.

I flinched at how weak I sounded. I shouldn't be so vulnerable I front of Sam, the one who betrayed me and broke my heart. No, not just my heart; he broke my soul. I gave him my entire being and he threw it away without a backward glace and ran to his Emily. Sure, I can hear his regret and his sorrow for what he did to me. I can hear it straight from his mind and it still doesn't make a difference in how I feel.

If I'm being honest with myself I won't let his sorrow and regret make a difference but that's only because I can't stand to be looked at as the weakest link. I can't let on just how venerable I am with so many people in my head so I give them all hell to distract them from my weakness. I don't want to be treated special because I got the short end of the stick in life. I don't want to be looked down upon.

To them I am Leah, the callous, cruel, and bitchy she-wolf who drives them all insane with snide remarks and an ability to bring up uncomfortable subjects. To them I am not Leah, the sad, vulnerable, and weak who suffers from a broken heart. I prefer it that way, its better than being a sob story.

Every one did their best to ignore my moment of weakness and pretended to not be able to hear my thoughts. I appreciated it. My fear and anxiety made it hard to keep my true colors to myself, but then I felt a few of them start to feel sorry for me and I fought back a growl.

Paul turned to Sam. _What should our next move be Sam?_ He thought.

Sam huffed a breath and thought carefully. _Seth and Jacob have chosen their side. We are no longer responsible for what happens to them._ He thought solemnly.

There was a moment of silence. It stirred anger inside me yet again because this silence felt like the moment at a funeral when everyone is quiet to morn the los of an old friend. Like saying good bye to the dead…

It felt like the moment dragged on and tore at my heart, planting seeds of fear on my mind. I was filled with even more emotions and I wished for them to quit digging at my already shattered heart. There was rage and the terrible feeling of betrayal… but there was something else to…

Was it longing?

"Yeah, it's longing," replied the reasonable Leah. This time I listened to her because I already knew it was true. I longed to be ale to just run away like Seth and Jacob. I longed to be free of Sam. Free from him and the other members of the pack seeing into my messed up head. Free from so many things I couldn't even comprehend it all in this moment.

I desperately needed to be alone with my thoughts.

_I need to speak with Old Quil, Sue, and Billy. They need to know what has taken place tonight. _Sam concluded_. _

Everyone was silent as we all looked at Sam. He was standing strong but I could see into his head. He was broken on the inside. He felt weak and powerless. He was afraid of what might become of Jacob and Seth but most of all he was afraid for the well being of the tribe. The abomination that was feeding off of Bella was evil and threatening to him.

He was determined to destroy anything that threatened LaPush's safety. I could watch as he pictured some dark creature coming out of the shadows and attacking a helpless family as Jacob and the Cullens protected it. We all shuddered at this image and a couple growls slid into the cold night air.

_We will meet again tomorrow morning at nine o'clock. First thing tomorrow I will fill in Old Quil, Sue, and Billy then we will discuss what actions should be taken. Jared, Embry, Leah, Paul, and Quil should run patrol tonight. We need to keep an extra close eye on the safety of the tribe. The rest of you should get some sleep, we don't know what tomorrow morning will hold,_ Sam ordered. Everyone muttered in agreement and nodded. Well, everyone but me.

_Umm,_ I thought quietly. Everyone looked straight at me and I did my best to stand tall. I looked at Sam. _I need to go tell my mom Seth decided to run off with Jacob. She needs to know her son is a leach lover now._ I thought. I tried not to think of the real reason I didn't want to do patrol tonight. I concentrated on the hurt I felt when Seth just left me here and it was easier.

_Alright Leah,_ Sam said. I could fell his pity for me and I wanted to tear his throat out. _Go tell Sue._

Instead of the throat tearing, which sounded better as he started to feel sympathetic, I nodded and ran off toward my house. I did my best to keep my mind blank and replayed tonight's events to keep my brain from reverting back to what I needed to think about.

As soon as I got to the edge of the woods I phased and roughly pulled back on my clothes. As soon as they were on I slumped against a tree sat on the forest floor. I wasn't telling mom about Seth, she would find out soon enough.

I sighed as I ran my hands threw my hair. The way I looked at it I had two options: One was that I stayed in Sam's pack and suffered threw the pain of being in the head of the guy who broke my heart and a lot of other things I didn't even want to think about right now. The second was to join Jacob's cruddy little pack and help protect stinking vampires and their mutant spawn for God knows how long.

I wouldn't be like Seth and just run off though. I would sit here all night and really think it threw. I would consider every angle and detail before I took any action. It felt silly though because in reality my decision was already made.

_This is going to be interesting_, I thought.

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**So what do you think? This is my very first fan fiction and I'm really excited to hear what people have to say! So please, please, please review! I would love you forever. Thanks! **


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